Well here we are again.   It's February 2001 and Ryan is now 2years and 9 months old.   We think he is doing very well.   He and Rebecca enjoyed Christmas, they are both walking now and they ran from person to person helping to open presents.   I did try to take lots of photos but had problems with the camera.   

Ryan has special boots which help him walk, they seem to keep him more stable somehow.   He still does not talk, makes lots of noises, some of which we try to interpret as words.   Actually I'm sure he does say "up" it sounds kind of like "uma" and I think he is trying to say "up me" - pick me up -.   He laughs a lot and is obviously very happy.   It's so frustrating though trying to understand what he wants, he is still not very good with the sign language, Rebecca uses words and signs to communicate and is leaving him further behind all the time.   I wish we could help him more.

I made him some flash cards (loads of them) with pictures of things he sees every day, he loves playing with them and yesterday he picked up  one with a picture of a toothbrush on it and did the sign for cleaning teeth so maybe the cards are helping.   Every little improvement gives you heart to try something else as well.

March 2001
We've just worked out that if Ryan does (or has done to him) all the things he is supposed to each day he will have to give up his nap and not go to bed until about 9pm.   Guilt slipped in with Debbie for a little while.  The "I'm not doing my best for him" thing, but she has realized that life means that you just have to do the best you can at that time.  If that means he can't have his physio, his portage, his eye patches and everything else EVERY day then so be it, the child has to have some ordinary playing time as well.

April 2001
Some new photos at last.   

Ryan and Rebecca both love trying to play the Guitar with Grandpa.  I was a bit shaken at this photo - it shows his forehead as clearly being different to Rebecca's (and most other people)

Ryan will be three this month, his "little" sister is 19 months old can you see the size difference? Neither can we.

Ryan will be able to talk one day, we are sure of that.   He does try now and "Up" is quite clear (well to us anyway).   In October he should be attending a special nursery a couple of afternoons a week and hopefully that will help him.

They say that animals behave differently with disabled people.   Our English Mastiff Robbie loves children anyway but Ryan certainly has special treatment.   Robbie is only a pup but he is different with Ryan.

My mother does worry about him, or rather she worries about the way people will treat him.   Someone said to me the other day that she has a new neighbour with a three year little boy and she suddenly realized looking at that child how behind in development Ryan was.   He is just "Ryan" and no one actually notices anything wrong with him.   We are very lucky to live in a small friendly community where people are accepted as they are.   

August 2001

I know it's taken a long time to update this page but here we are at last with some new photos. 

Here are two taken at his 3rd birthday party in April  Sorry it took a long time to finish the film!.

The couple of other 3 year olds there seemed considerably older and bigger than Ryan but they all enjoyed the party .  Ryan and Rebecca love it when mummy makes bubbles!

Summer in Cornwall means a big influx of visitors and on a recent day trip I saw lots of children with their parents.   I found myself looking at the 3 year olds running around playing and shouting and I was thinking "why can't Ryan do those things".   I got a little bit depressed then I looked at him - a big grin on his face and covered in ice-cream - and I realized if he was like those other children then he would not be our Ryan and I'd miss that oddly enough.   So in a daft kind of way I'm happy that he is special.   Look at the "Special Mother" page and you'll see what I mean.

I know that sometimes people think we are hard on him because we don't "wrap him in cotton wool".   We don't run and panic every time he falls down, we walk over to him and smile and say "come on, up you get, why are you down there".   We want as normal a life as possible for him and he won't have that if we panic and worry all the time.   Anyway, Big things - the first family holiday.  Not far away but still a holiday.

Ryan was not sure of this little car at first, but later decided that he liked it.

Rebecca sleeps in a bed but Ryan is still in a cot.   He liked to play in Rebecca's bed though.

They did like this model elephant 

September
Rebecca's 2nd birthday was a great day for both the children.   Debbie bought a bouncy castle - not a huge one of course but big enough for them.   They do enjoy it.   When the film is developed I'll put a couple of photos up of the two of them on the castle.   It's such a safe thing for them to play on (and fall on).  
 
I do not have a clue what his auntie Beth is doing with a cuddly toy in her mouth but Ryan obviously thinks it's very funny.

Ryan is talking.   Well OK maybe "talking" is not quite the right thing to say but he is definitely trying to talk.   The sounds he makes for ONE  TWO  THREE sound nothing like the real words, but he uses the same three noises every time .   He also now says "it ow"  for "sit down"  and he points at a seat, so he knows what he is saying.   He wants to talk and that is half of the battle.
 

Sitting on the sofa with Daddy

Why the two of them should want to sit on a coffee table and play with mummy's kitchen utensils I do not know.

   See, the patches he wears some of the time do not seem to have made much difference to his eyes.

Well, October is getting closer and we have still not had confirmation that Ryan will be able to go to the special nursery unit.   There is still time though and we keep our fingers crossed.   I'll let you all know how it goes.

Here are a couple of pictures of the bouncy castle

November.

Yes Ryan has started going to the unit.   Monday and Tuesday afternoons.   Both children go to a child minder now on Mondays and Tuesdays, they started doing that last month.   It gets them used to being with a small group of other children and having a someone other than mummy or granny look after them.   Of course it also gives Debbie the chance of some much needed time for herself.     While Ryan is at the unit Rebecca is with the child minder so she gets some time without Ryan too.   Becca can be difficult at times, because she sees Ryan "getting away with things" like not using his fork and spoon properly and she is not old enough to understand that he is just not as capable as she is.   Hopefully as she gets older we will be able to explain more (and of course we hope that Ryan will do more).   Ryans time at the unit seems to be happy but he will not speak to them at all.   They tell us that this is normal and it could take a while for him to get used to all the things he does there, then he will relax enough to try to talk to them.

December

Christmas looms.   Becca is talking almost without pause and wonderfully Ryan is trying to copy her a bit.  He also tries to keep up with her running around (fat chance).   Apart from the obvious physical differences Rebecca has an awareness of self ("my turn now"  and "mine" or "Becca want one") which Ryan just does not have.   It seems that this is important to development but it's something you can't really give a child, they have to develop it for themselves.  We're all looking for toys for Christmas which will help him to use the skills he has and find other skills.   It's easier actually to find stuff for Rebecca we have to be careful that she does not end up with lots more than him.   Also clothes, Rebecca is the same size as other children of her age so there are lots of clothes for her.   Ryan is in the 18-24 month size range but we don't want baby clothes for him, we want stuff suitable for a roughy toughy little boy.   It's there alright but not cheap!

Potty Training - it's working.   Mind you the fact that Rebecca likes to wear PO pants (not what you think! Po is one of the Tellytubbies and Rebecca has pants with Tellytubbies on them) does help.   He watched with great interest when his sister used the potty and he saw the fuss that was made of her.   We think that helped him want to use the potty too.   So he has bright coloured pants which he loves to wear and he uses the potty.   Not all of the time of course, there are lots of accidents but like it says in "The Special Mother" every little step is important and wonderful. 

Christmas was of course hectic.   The kids were the centre of everything (as it should be) they both thoroughly enjoyed opening presents and helped everyone open everything.  

Of course they got tired and ate too many sweets, well you can't watch them all the time and family and friends who do not see them very often don't want to be told "no more sweets for the children please".  

Only one argument when a well meaning friend looked at Ryan and said "poor little thing".   She was soon put right!   He is not a poor little thing.   For a start he is not a "thing".  

Also, he is happy and unaware that there is anything wrong with him.   As he grows up he will  learn that he is not the same as everyone else but we intend that he will be secure in his family and in himself and will never feel that he is a "poor thing".   That's not "pie in the sky" talk, ask most disabled people and their families, they will tell you same.

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